Is it a requirement for us to agree on everything in order to be friends?
Do we absolutely have to be in lockstep with each other in order to learn from each other? I say NAY!
We can be friends… we can support each other and differ on some basic issues.
It is perfectly fine for you to:
- practice a different religion than I do
- attend different learning institutions than I have
- believe in different scientific theories
- create a different life
- have a different family
- wear different clothing
- we may even (ghasp!) like different colours – real life example coming up!
If you were always surrounded with the people who agreed with everything you did, who liked what you like and desired what you desire… what could be some unintended consequences of that kind of support?
If that support started early enough, you may never have been toilet trained. Truly! There are countless toddlers around the world diligently fighting the right to play without being interrupted by bio breaks right now.
If you somehow skirted that one… learning how to read and write comes next… I might not remember my own valiant fight to stay in diapers, but I do remember my Grandmother taking my dolls away one day and replacing them with stupid blocks with letters on them. I was definitely not keen on that, especially since I was deeply engrossed in vital doll brain surgery at the time.
The blocks left me cold, I had no way of knowing the magic contained within the raised symbols on them.
Only months later did I connect the weird symbols on the blocks with the magic of ACTUALLY reading my favourite books (until then my world had a lot of pretend reading… and doll brain surgery).
These conflicts, which someone was willing to have with me, saved me from adult diapers and a lifetime of menial jobs.
Thank you to my dedicated Adults for making my life possible.
At the time I was unaware that… Adulthood does not magically make one RIGHT.
As a small child I remember yearning for adulthood… because then no one could tell me what to do, I would be RIGHT all the time once I became an ADULT.
Boy was I wrong!
As an adult one is surrounded by ADULTS and they ALL think they are RIGHT!
I am here today to tell you – YOU ARE RIGHT!
No matter who disagrees with you. No matter how many double blind studies may attempt to prove you wrong. No matter if BLUE is not your favourite colour. Even in that eventuality, you are still right…. right for you.
Your rightness does not mean that you should tell me to match my opinion to yours.
The rightness field extends only to the end of your field of control.
Since we are among adults here, it is unkind to try to extend your field of control beyond yourself and those you are responsible for. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, challenges, mistakes and wins.
Think about all of the times someone stood up against the popular opinion and we all benefited… someone like Ignaz Semmelweis who invented hand washing. How many colds did Ignaz save YOU from, despite the fact that before he proved it he was a laughing stock of his profession and publicly humiliated for his different beliefs.
I invite you to be more like Ignaz. Keep your own opinion. Cherish your opinion. If you choose to change it, then change it.
Engage in spirited discussions about the details of why your opinion is the one you cherish… but do not tell others to join you on your side of the fence. If you are correct and can show how your way is the most effective, people will come to your side on their own… there is no need to prove them wrong.
So as you read this and my future entries, let’s agree to disagree. Let’s explore concepts and ideas freely… Let’s learn and grow and most of all, lets support our fellow human beings on their journey to wherever they are going.
No comments:
Post a Comment