Most people view the world in a customary fashion never allowing their perception to expand or even shift for a time. It is an interesting exercise to allow your perception to shift to someone else’s point of view, or even becoming the “fly on the wall” and attempting to observe the situation without a personal, emotional charge.
It takes a lot of practice to be able to shift perspectives effortlessly.
One exercise I employ in order to expand my view point is allowing for five different explanations in frustrating situations. For example, when someone I do not know acts in a manner I consider inappropriate, like driving erratically, I allow my mind to create five different scenarios in order to explain the other person’s behaviour. One of those explanations is invariably the most common one: That is just not a nice person. We can start there. While yes, that is likely, let’s come up with four other as likely explanations including the extreme one where this person is rushing to a hospital because a loved one was just admitted. The trick in the perspective shifting game is to allow each explanation to float through our mind without attachment. Let’s not think that one of the explanations is any more likely than any of the other ones. Allowing five different scenarios to float through our mind takes a little practice. With practice it becomes a lightning quick reaction to a stimulus with the potential of evoking frustration or perhaps even anger. In this exercise the strength of the emotional reaction becomes diffused with each explanation and we emerge on the other side with a neutral viewpoint. It may even occur to us that having an emotional reaction to someone else’s behaviour is rather pointless.
It’s all about beliefs.
While thoughts may become things, at the root of those thoughts are your core beliefs. The customary perspective, the one our mind jumps to at a moment’s notice, is rooted in our core beliefs. In observing ourselves and our reactions we can learn many things about our core beliefs. As humans we tend to play tricks on ourselves. We convince ourselves that we have learned certain lessons and that we no longer have petty attachments to controlling situations and other people’s behaviour. It’s only when an unexpected event occurs and throws us off balance, that we can realize which core beliefs live on in the depths of our being.
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
~George Bernard Shaw
We can change our beliefs.
The simplest way to start changing beliefs which no longer serve you is allowing yourself to perceive things which may not necessarily be congruent with this belief. Just like when you get a new car and suddenly you see that car everywhere. That is a shift in perception not a shift in reality. All those people did not get those cars the week you got yours nor did they suddenly start driving the roads you usually drive. Those people were there all the time, but only once you got your new car did you start perceiving them.
Perspective is the key.
It does not matter what belief you embodied which now no longer serves you (perhaps it never served you at all) all that matters is finding evidence that reality is not so. Suddenly the emotional attachment becomes more tenuous. Other possibilities emerge.
Of course if you are attached to a belief you will find many ways to prove it to yourself.
Hold onto the beliefs which serve you in your growth and development. Rejoice in the beliefs which support you in life transitions and allow for learning. If you find some which are not what you may desire, I invite you to take some time to slowly shift away from them. The game of finding proof to debunk the beliefs which no longer serve you does not have to feel like a battle. There is no need for tears. I invite you to support yourself in love as you would support a child in your care. I invite you to be gentle with yourself and slowly, persistently reach for what brings you and everyone around you the most love and compassion.
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
~Marcus Aurelius
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